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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25814509">I Will Survive</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_gilliath/pseuds/el_gilliath'>el_gilliath</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Cowboy Vigilante [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Violence, Alex being Alex, Angst and Feels, Beating, F/F, I didn't kill anyone, Kidnapping, M/M, Vigilante AU, alternative universe, russian mob</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:08:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25814509</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_gilliath/pseuds/el_gilliath</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He hasn’t stopped thinking about the kiss. Of Cowboy’s lips on his. Of his hands on his skin. Of the gorgeous hazel of his eyes. Of the face he can’t remember. </p><p>He realized quickly that Influence is probably the reason he can’t remember, it seems like something that is within her abilities. A part of him is glad, he doesn’t want to remember Cowboy’s face until he knows his name, and he does remember the feel of his gorgeous curls between his fingers. It felt good to run his hands through them, it’ll feel good when he gets to do it again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Guerin/Alex Manes, Pre-Maria DeLuca/Rosa Ortecho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Cowboy Vigilante [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1436755</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Will Survive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Well damn, who would've thought something like this could happen at 4am (Norwegian time). So beware of any spelling errors, please and thank you.</p><p>As always, dedicated to my lovely Lucie. Sorry for taking so damned long.</p><p>BE AWARE of violence in this chapter. None graphic, but you do see aftermath</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He hasn’t stopped thinking about the kiss. Of Cowboy’s lips on his. Of his hands on his skin. Of the gorgeous hazel of his eyes. Of the face he can’t remember. </p><p>He realized quickly that Influence is probably the reason he can’t remember, it seems like something that is within her abilities. A part of him is glad, he doesn’t want to remember Cowboy’s face until he knows his name, and he does remember the feel of his gorgeous curls between his fingers. It felt good to run his hands through them, it’ll feel good when he gets to do it again. </p><p>After getting Cowboy out of the hands of the Russians, the bond, the <i>connection</i>, between them felt more profound. Kissing him made it even more so. Alex can feel it, in a way, the connection underneath his skin. </p><p>He also knows how dangerous it is, how many people who would love to use him as bait for Cowboy, should their tentative thing be known. Everyone and their mother has warned him about it, including Liz (who is very publicly dating Detective Max Evans and not Electrobuzz), Maria (who knows all the shit that happens in the vigilante world), and Kyle (that did not go over well). Even Arturo has given him the worried face and soft spanish proverbs, even though he doesn’t need them. None of them understands that being Jesse Manes’ youngest child has put him in the spotlight and kept him there for years.</p><p>No matter how much Jesse hates his son, he wouldn’t stand for anyone giving him the dishonor of taking his son. It’s the one thing he can count on more than anything when it comes to his dad, he doesn’t like dishonor. If nothing else, Alex will appreciate that about his dad, no matter how much shit he gets for it. It also means that he knows Jesse will come for him, even if it’s only for the glory of having rescued his son and not because of Alex himself. </p><p>Which is why he’s not afraid when he finds himself being dragged into a car as he leaves the Post on a Wednesday afternoon, Rosa screaming “No!” as his eyes meet hers when they take a hold of his arms and kick his legs out from under him so he can’t really resist. He just lets himself be dragged into the van, giving Rosa as much of a reassuring look as he can. He doesn’t want her to be afraid for him, even if he knows she probably will be.</p><p>He’s fairly sure he knows exactly where they’re taking him anyway. </p><p>The kidnappers throw him into the back of the way, screaming at him in broken english to sit down and shut up. They scream that if he makes any trouble they’ll kill him. Alex knows that they won’t, but he still nods, curling together like he’s frightened, like he’s cowering. He’s not, fear isn’t something he feels lightly anymore but he has to protect his leg. If they take that then he’s gonna have one hell of a harder time with everything. Thankfully the men only scowl at him behind ski-masks as they drive off. He closes his eyes, counting seconds and minutes to try to find out where they’re going, listening out for the murmuring that’s happening in the van with him.</p><p>He knows he’s right when the driver starts talking louder in russian, when they slow down after about 20minutes. They’re in the Russian compound. And he’s probably gonna meet Mr. Serkoff again, after getting the diamonds off of his hands. The diamonds he decidedly did <i>not</i> give his father.</p><p>He’s about to be in a bigger heap of trouble than he’s been in a while.</p><p>He’s roughly pulled from the car a few minutes after they stop, pushed ahead so quickly he barely has time to put his feet under him. His leg pulls in the wrong side of comfortable and he bites the inside of his cheek not to cry out. Instead he straightens himself, stands tall and walks into the lion's den. He ignores the pushing, he ignores the yelling. He’ll face this on his own terms, not on theirs. </p><p>He’s taken to a back office in the Diamond Storage and roughly shoved into a chair in front of a huge oak desk, where Serkoff is sitting watching his men’s rough handling with a bored look on his face. Anyone not good at reading faces wouldn’t see the underlying anger, the fury.</p><p>Alex Manes grew up with Jesse Manes. He’s seen more anger than he ever wants too.</p><p>“Mr. Manes.”</p><p>“Mr. Serkoff,” Alex replies. He makes sure his voice is calm, collected. He needs to stay strong. “I don’t think taking me right outside the Post was the smartest idea you ever had.”</p><p>“Perhaps not. But I doubt you are surprised to find yourself back here again.” The anger turns obvious, a snarl on the russians face. “You took my diamonds, Mr. Manes. And you did not deliver them to your father. He was not… pleased. And as a result, I am not pleased.”</p><p>Alex just looks at him. He hitches a brow slightly as if to say ‘get on with it’. He might not be the good little cop boy his father wants him to be, but that doesn’t mean he’s not capable. And right now he needs to be a Manes. </p><p>“He told me he never sent you to get the diamonds. That he would never.” The chilling grin is the first sign. “He told me to do whatever I wanted to you. He would rather find your corpse, than to find you alive.”</p><p>It breaks his heart, just a little, to hear that. But he also knows it’s not true. </p><p>“If you hadn’t taken me very publicly that would be true. But you did. My father might hate me, Mr. Serkoff, but he won’t stand for slights on his honor.” Alex’s top lip curls upwards in a parody of a smile. “Taking his son like that? His disabled son which the public thinks he loves? You can’t imagine the outrage.”</p><p>Something flickers in the burly Russians eyes. Almost like compassion. Almost like understanding. It disappears fast behind the mask of indifference. </p><p>“Give me my diamonds.”</p><p>“I don’t have them.”</p><p>Serkoff visibly bites his tongue, hard, most likely to stop himself from speaking too early. Alex understands him better than he wants to at that moment. </p><p>“Exactly how much does my father have on you, Mr. Serkoff,” Alex asks. The snort in response wasn’t what he expected. </p><p>“Your father has nothing on me, Mr. Manes. I deal with him because I want to, not because I have to.” Well shit. “And if you do not have my diamonds, I have no need of you.”</p><p>The knowledge that he means exactly what he’s saying churns inside Alex’s stomach. He has nothing to stop this, unless he gives up the diamonds. The problem is that he’s not lying, he doesn’t have them. But he does know where they are. </p><p>He also knows that giving them up would be the end. </p><p>“What if I could make you a deal?” Alex asks. Giving up the diamonds would be the end, but he can give him something different, something that might be worth more. </p><p>“And what kind of a deal would that be?”</p><p>“In exchange for me walking out of here, I could give you information. Information my dad probably doesn't want you to have.”</p><p>“And how would that benefit me?”</p><p>“When I take him down, I’ll keep your name out of it.” Alex takes a deep breath. “And in the end you’ll have your diamonds back.”</p><p>Serkoff looks at him in a way Alex is intimately familiar with, having grown up in the Manes household, like he’s a bug he wants to squash. But there’s also interest, a curiosity that Alex can’t help but feel hopeful about. If he can convince this burly russian that he can give him valuable information he might have a chance. It also means that his rig at the Pony will be brushing off the dust in a way he promised he wouldn’t do any more. </p><p>“Your offer is interesting,” Serkoff replies. “But you stole my diamonds, Mr. Manes. For that I cannot just let you leave.”</p><p>It’s the last thing he remembers as he’s hit in the head with a gun. </p><p>———</p><p>
  <i>Pain. Harsh spoken russian words. The glint of a knife. Pain.</i>
</p><p>------</p><p>He wakes up, doesn’t know how much later, alone in a room. He’s on a bed, prosthetic still on. His head is pounding, his stomach is on fire, his hands filled with tiny cuts. It hurts, but he knew this was a possibility. It’s not like he hasn’t suffered worse before.</p><p>“Mr. Manes.”</p><p>He jumps, his heart hammering in his chest. His spatial awareness comes rushing back, recognizing the fact that the door’s been opened and that Serkoff is now in the room with him. He’s thankfully standing by the door, making no moves to come closer. It makes Alex’s heart settle a litte.</p><p>“Mr. Serkoff. Done beating me up?”</p><p>“Yes,” the russian replies, simple as that. Maybe it is. “Now tell me about the information you can give me.”</p><p>Alex swallows. “Will you let me go if I do?”</p><p>“I will. I could not let you go without some retaliation. My own people would think me weak if I did, but now I can. If you give me the information. From what my sources tell me, the youngest Manes is a very good hacker.” Serkoff grimaces. “I was also told hacking was how you lost your leg.”</p><p>“Yeah. It was. Doesn’t mean I’m not good at it.”</p><p>“On the contrary Mr. Manes, for you to have lost your leg you must have been very good, for someone to want to hurt you that much.”</p><p>“My dad is the reason I lost my leg, Mr. Serkoff.” Alex sighs, worn and tired. “Maybe now you understand why I want to stop him.”</p><p>Serkoff doesn’t say anything, but Alex recognizes the look in his eyes. It’s the look of someone who does understand, it makes the look in his eyes earlier make all the more sense. He knows exactly what Alex is talking about, probably better than Alex thinks he does.</p><p>“And you will keep me and my men out of it.”</p><p>“I will. I can’t keep the russian mob out of it completely, but I’ll try.”</p><p>“And I will get my diamonds?” Serkoff asks, and Alex just nods. His body is starting to shut down, in pain and aching. Talking is starting to become too much. “Good. I will get you a scapegoat, someone who should be taken down with your father. Now rest, your friend will be here soon.”</p><p>Alex opens his mouth to ask who said friend is, but he doesn’t have the chance before Serkoff nods sternly and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him and leaving Alex to his own thoughts. Alone, deep in the diamond storage with the russian mob. A friend coming soon. </p><p>He really hopes Cowboy or Influence didn’t get themselves involved. </p><p>Still he lays back down and rests. He probably doesn’t have to fight his way out but he still wants to get some strength back. Even if that strength is skin deep, allowing himself to rest so he can walk out on his own is enough. Serkoff and his men are not someone you want to appear weak in front of. Especially if he’s going to have somewhat of a working relationship with them.</p><p>He doesn’t know how much time passes as he rests, lost in his own thoughts of where he needs to move his rig (he can’t keep it at the Pony just in case someone traces it back to him), how he’s going to keep Arturo from finding out (he already knows how mad Arturo would be, after how frightened he was the last time) and who’s coming to get him (he’s going to kill whoever it is for walking voluntarily into the compound).</p><p>Which is why he startles (spatial awareness, come on) when the door bangs open.</p><p>“Hermano, you better be alive on that bed so that I can kill you myself.”</p><p>He huffs a laugh, of course it’s Rosa. A spitfire latina would be the only one crazy enough to come get him in the middle of the russian mob and threaten murder.</p><p>“I’m fine, Rosa. Just resting,” he answers, smiling in amusement as her glowering only increases. He’s still thankful for the way she stalks over and throws herself down on him, hugging him tightly.</p><p>“I was so scared when they took you,” she whispers as he hugs her back, mindful of his aches. “I even called Maria and you know I prefer when she comes to me.”</p><p>“I appreciate your sacrifice,” he whispers back. Even though they both know that Rosa’s burgeoning interest in Maria means they’ve called upon each other half a dozen times (if not more) since the night at the Pony. Though he’s pretty sure Rosa actually prefers it when Maria does come to her. And when she doesn’t have to call her to find someone else. </p><p>“You better. I’m in Maria’s debt now, I don’t like being in anyone's debt.”</p><p>“I know. But you can get a date out of it?”</p><p>“Vato, don’t you even-</p><p>“Okay! Okay” Alex interrupts her with a laugh that turns into a cough. “Thanks for coming.”</p><p>“When the Russian mob calls and tells you to come to their secret base to pick up your best friend, who they <i>just kidnapped</i> you kinda go,” Rosa answers, grumbling into his chest. Alex just holds her tighter, squeezing her in his version of a thanks. Something he knows she understands, none of them are big on talking about their feelings in high strung environments. “Speaking of the Russian mob…”</p><p>“Yeah, no, I’m not telling you here. Later, okay?</p><p>“Si,” Rosa replies. “But you better tell me.”</p><p>“I will. But we need to get going.”</p><p>Rosa nods and gets up, pulling Alex with her. Standing is painful, but he can put pressure on the prosthetic without problems, meaning Serkoss left it well enough alone. It helps him move out of his own power. He's grateful for that much at least. </p><p>They walk out of the compound easily after that. All the Russian men are gone, vanished from their vicinity. Alex knows, he uses all the tricks in his books to look for them, as they move out to where Rosa’s car is parked. He looks back one more time before he gets in, and catches Serkoff watching them. He nods, a gesture of respect Alex didn’t expect. Still, he nods back and gets into the car. </p><p>“Where too?”</p><p>He looks over at Rosa. “The Pony. I have some business to take care of.”</p><p>He’s never felt more relaxed putting his back to the bad man than he does when they drive out of the parking lot and set course for the Pony. </p><p>The car ride is quiet, something Alex is grateful for. It gives him a chance to rest some more, leaning back into the comfy seat of Rosa’s car and closing his eyes. He breathes deeply and evenly as he listens to Rosa’s ever present grumblings about traffic. </p><p>He nods off, just a little, waking again as he hears Rosa call Maria and tell them they’re coming. Good, he doesn’t need the hassle of scared Super’s today. </p><p>Which proves to be his famous last thought as they walk into the Pony and Cowboy is there. Frantic with worry. Alex watches him with a surprised look as he walks back and forth over the Pony floor, rambling to himself with his mask on, but hat off, not listening to a word Maria says. Maria meets his gaze with an exasperated look on her face, tilting her head slightly to where Influence, Electrobuzz and Kyle are arguing loudly amongst themselves. He watches them with an artificial detachment he wills into being. He can’t afford to care. Especially now that he has a job to do.</p><p>“Cowboy.” He speaks the word clearly, a bit louder than he usually would. He needs his attention.</p><p>He’s not expecting to get the attention of <i>everyone</i>. Even Liz appears from the back room, cursing up a storm when she sees his bruised face. And Liz cursing starts the rest of them, besides Maria who just watches him and Kyle who walks over to Alex and silently asks permission to check him out. Alex looks at him and Kyle backs away, knowing that it’ll have to wait. Their friendship might not be all good, but their communication still works perfectly.</p><p>“Stop!” Maria yells. Miraculously it works. “This is my bar, and this is Alex’s safe space. Let him fucking breathe.”</p><p>“DeLuca-”</p><p>“No,” Maria interrupts, sending a vicious look Cowboy’s way. Alex can’t help that a tiny particle of him appreciates the way she makes him flinch. “Alex, please let Kyle take you in the back and make sure you’re okay. Please.”</p><p>Alex watches her, the way they listen to her speak even as they shoot him glances and he’s so proud. So proud of her and the woman she’s become since her mother died, since she took over the Pony and started protecting the people that might need it the most and the least at the same time. Maria DeLuca is a savior, though he really hopes that one day she will let someone <s>Rosa</s> save her right back. No one deserves it more than her.</p><p>He nods at her, shooting Kyle a look as well before he walks towards the backroom. He can feel Cowboy watching him as he moves but he’ll worry about that later. Right now he needs to focus on something else.</p><p>“Does it hurt anywhere?” Kyle asks as he closes the door. Alex just shoots him a <i>look</i>. “I mean worse than anywhere else.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“How about your stomach?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Your leg?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Damnit, Alex!” Kyle yells, startling both of them. “Just… Just please answer me properly.”</p><p>Alex runs a hand through his hair, sighing deeply as he does. Time to treat Kyle like a doctor, and not an enemy. “My leg is fine, they didn’t touch it. Stomach is sore but seems fine. My head is killing me and my face is probably starting to get a real nice shiner. I’m fine, Kyle.”</p><p>“Only you would be kidnapped and beat up and say you’re fine,” Kyle mutters angrily and Alex can’t help but huff out a laugh. He has a point.</p><p>“You want me to apologize instead?”</p><p>“No. I just want you to stay safe.” Kyles gives him a look. “Within the range of safe at least.”</p><p>Alex rolls his eyes but doesn’t answer. Kyle knows him well enough to know that the Manes range of safety isn’t the same as everyone else's. Kyle snorts in derision at the eye roll but doesn’t say anything else either, preferring to finish looking Alex over in silence. Alex finds himself grateful for the familiarity and that they don’t need to talk. He might not have completely forgiven Kyle yet, but Kyle knowing what he needs and when to shut up helps. Maybe more than he thought it would, since it was Kyle opening his mouth that destroyed them the first time. </p><p>“Thank, Kyle,” he says, as Kyle moves back with a satisfied nod some minutes later. </p><p>“Any time,” Kyle replies as he packs away the nicely stocked first aid kit Maria has in the back room. “Want me to send in Cowboy?”</p><p>“No. I need to talk to Maria first.”</p><p>Kyle gives him a look of slight surprise, but nods before he goes through the door to the front of the pub. Alex waits until Maria joins him a minute later. </p><p>“You okay?” She asks, walking over to him and gently cupping his face in her hands. Her eyes are alight with worry, her frame tense in a way she usually isn’t. </p><p>“I’m fine, Maria. That was a necessary meeting.”</p><p>“<i>Meeting</i>? Alex, they kidnapped you!”</p><p>“Yeah,” he agrees. “But now I have an ally against my father.”</p><p>“Is that what this is about, your dad?” Maria asks. </p><p>“No. It’s about keeping <i>them</i> safe,” he answers, nodding towards the front of the bar. “Kyle, Liz, Rosa. Cowboy, your siblings. You.”</p><p>Maria huffs. “My secret siblings out there can take care of themselves, as can Cowboy, the rest of them and me. I’ve been the unofficial Super bar for years Alex, the police can’t take me down for shit.”</p><p>“They can if my rig is here. Especially if it’s in use.” </p><p>He sees it happen the second it dawns on her, the second she understands just why he’s calling it a meeting. </p><p>“You can’t do that. The last time you hacked you lost your leg,” she says with frightening calm. “If you do and your father finds out again you’ll lose your life!”</p><p>“I will. But this time I have the Russian mob at my back.”</p><p>She just stares at him, eyes wide and wild with indignation and a fair bit of the classical ‘are you crazy’ look. But there’s no question, she knows that he’s serious. She also knows she can’t talk him out of it, like she couldn’t the last time. </p><p>“You better be careful,” she says through clenched teeth when she finally does speak, marching over and laying a hard kiss on his forehead before she walks out without a word. Probably best, so neither of them starts to cry. Matia saw him at his worst after he lost his leg, he knows she has a right to be scared but he’ll be more careful this time. He has to be. </p><p>“Alex?” Cowboy asks as he walks through the door. He looks worried, scared even. “Can I come on?”</p><p>“Yeah, come in,” Alex replies. Cowboy comes in slowly. His hat and mask is on, but Alex doesn’t mind. He never minds, especially now that he has to do what he does. </p><p>“You okay?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” he replies. “The Russians are pretty pissed, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. </p><p>“Is this because-“</p><p>“No. It’s got nothing to do with you.”</p><p>Cowboy clearly doesn’t believe him, if the way he purses his lips is any indication. “Sure, I get stuck in their compound, you go in and use your name, and not two weeks later you get kidnapped and beaten up!”</p><p>“That was because-“</p><p>“And now you want to work with them? And hack for them when you lost your leg because of it the first time? How can you be so st-“</p><p>“Hey!” Alex interrupts. “You do not get to call me stupid, Cowboy. I got into trouble because of my dad, not because of you. It's my choice, not yours.”</p><p>He watches Cowboy bite his tongue, clenching his fists tightly in obvious annoyance. But he doesn’t say anything, breathing deeply for a few minutes before he relaxes his fists, his jaw following. Alex understands how he feels, he does, but Cowboy isn’t his keeper of any kind. He makes his own decisions. </p><p>“You don’t get to decide when you run around New York as a <i>vigilante</i>, protecting people left and right with no regards to yourself. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”</p><p>He doesn’t expect Cowboy to kiss him. He just walks over, takes Alex’s face in his hands and kisses him. It’s sloppy, this side of too hard and feral, just a little bit painful to Alex’s bruised face. It’s <i>perfect</i>. </p><p>“Shit, I’m sorry. You’re hurt,” Cowboy says, pulling away. </p><p>Alex shakes his head, keeping him in place. “It’s perfect, please don't stop.”</p><p>Cowboy seems sceptical, but Alex doesn’t care. He pulls him back in, though he softens the kiss so it won’t hurt. Instead of hard it’s soft, instead of hurried it’s languid, instead of feral it’s tender. Painful turns way to heat, lazily curling up his spine and settling everywhere from his neck to his stomach. He sighs softly into the kiss, pulling Cowboy infinitely closer. </p><p>“Alex. As much as I love having your lips on mine, you’re hurt,” Cowboy says as he pulls back again. “And we both know Maria will kill us if we do anything in this backroom.”</p><p>Alex groans. “You pick now to be sensible?”</p><p>“I pick now to be scared of your best friend. I’m just… breaking. Not saying no.”</p><p>Alex sighs, nodding because he knows Cowboy is right. He also does have to remember that he doesn’t actually know who Cowboy is, yet. </p><p>“I need help, moving my rig back home. Will you help me?”</p><p>Cowboy gives him a long, hard look. It feels soul searching in many ways, but Alex endures it. For him. He’s admittedly surprised when Cowboy nods, but grateful. </p><p>———</p><p>He find another piece of paper hidden under his keyboard the next day, with the letter A.</p>
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